


sometimes love is not enough, and the road is tough.

by oblivoid



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), Shadowhunters (TV) RPF, The Mortal Instruments (Movies), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-26 23:45:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18727288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oblivoid/pseuds/oblivoid
Summary: an au where magnus dies from the soul sword, and alec is struggling to cope. then he finds a wooden box with his initials engraved on it.title from "born to die" by lana del rey.





	sometimes love is not enough, and the road is tough.

 

It had been three months after Magnus’s death. Three months after the Soul Sword was activated, three months after Alec’s world lay dead on the floor, unmoving. Three months, two weeks, five days, ten hours. He'd cradled Magnus's body in his arms, begging the Angel to let him feel a heartbeat again. Magnus hadn't even looked like he had been attacked. That was the worst part. He had looked like he was asleep, just a tad tired after getting Madzie to Catarina. Just a tad tired after being in the blow that burned away all of Alec's love, Alec's heart, Magnus's body. It-- _he,_ had disintegrated into maroon dust, and faded, like a memory. Alec had been left there, sobbing, screaming, punching the floor. Alec had been left in this world without Magnus.

Now, Alec shuffled around Magnus’s loft listlessly. A small box, wooden and engraved with Alec’s initials snagged his eyes. He scooped it into his arms tenderly, folding his legs underneath him on Magnus’s soft rug. Oh, it hurt. It hurt more than Alec could bear as he traced a hand over his own initials, the curve of the engravings lined with a cobalt residue. He caught a small, traced _B_ behind his _A.L._ And if it were possible to hurt more, he did.

Taking a deep breath, Alec opened the box with trembling hands. Instantly, a puff of blue flame sparked infront of him and grew, and Alec’s breath caught in his throat as a shifting figure appeared in front of him. It was Magnus, in a gold robe, his hair streaked with gold, his cat eyes still glamoured.

 _“If you’re not Alec, close the box. I’d rather not declare my unending love to a stranger--or even worse, Jace. If you’re Alexander… hi, babe.”_ Magnus’s voice softened when he said Alec’s name, and Alec couldn’t stop the tears that found their way down his cheeks. Magnus walked forward, just enough that he was almost touching Alec. If he were real, Alec thought, _if he were real._ A smile lifted the corner of Magnus’s lips, and Alec was surprised to find him mirroring that gesture.

_“If you’re seeing this… well, I’m dead. This magic is only activated when I’m dead. But Alexander, it’s okay.”_

“How can this be okay, Magnus? I was never supposed to leave before you. You were supposed to be _permanent,”_ Alec whispered, tears blurring his vision. He swiped at his eyes, not wanting to miss a second of Magnus, even if it were a glamour.

Magnus sat down before him, his robe shifting. He gave Alec a reproachful look. _“You just had a speech about how I was supposed to be immortal, didn’t you?”_ Alec choked out a laugh. Even dead, he knew Alec too well. _Had known_ , Alec thought, his throat closing up.

 _“Well, immortality isn’t invincibility. No matter how I died, where I died, when I died… it is not your fault, Alexander. Have you been coping? I suppose you haven’t. You have always had a big heart, Alexander, and with a big heart you had a fragile one. Stop moping about my loft, stop looking at the omamori. Stop living in the past where I’m in, and start living with people who care about you. Isabelle, Clary, Jace… they love you. And I will always love you too, Alexander. Just promise me you’ll remember me. Remember our kisses? They were like fire, flames in the ocean, the way we always fit each other and the way your hand was the perfect size to cup around my face. And you always loved the way I smelled like sandalwood. Remember the first time we spoke? You had just helped me take down a Circle member. You will always be my archer, my archer boy. Alexander, Alexander. You are swift and true, painful even when accurate, and you have struck my heart. Thank you for letting me feel again, Alexander. Remember… remember I’ve got you. Remember I’ll always love you._ Aku mencintaimu sayangku.” _I love you, my love._

And with that, Magnus stood up, leaning down over Alec. He glanced up at Magnus, tears brimming his eyes again. Magnus kissed his forehead gently, and even as he was only a vision, even as he was nothing but magic projected into air, Alec could feel the warmth of his lips on his skin as Magnus slowly splintered into blue dust and faded once more.

 

 


End file.
